Waiting (Forever)

It seems like I have been here forever. As I sat on the ground of my room (the only place that provides me with internet in my bedroom), I often wondered “what am I doing here?” Why wasn’t I with my second home stay family? Why is Brazil so…different? I am so used to the cookie cutter workings of the American way of life (set up a meeting, be there about 15 minutes early in a jacket and tie, talk about terms, sign a contract, and you’re on your way). It all seems so distant now. As seven (out of nine) of us Brazil Fellows waited to hear our fate, I found it hard to stay positive.

For a while, I thought that doing nothing would be fine. I could just sit on my bed, read a little bit, and never get dressed. That reminded me way too much of home, however. That wasn’t satisfying. After I while, I figured that I was here, so why not actually be here. There was no reason that our program manager should be slaving out there (working within the confines of a culture that make his job extremely hard), and I should be lying on my bed with my pajamas on at 2pm. I knew I needed a change. The group that is still with me, us seven Fellows, have been making our own adventures. One day, we got on the first bus we saw and just went as far as we wanted and explored a new area of the city. Another, we decided to take a R$3.30 bus to somewhere outside of the city, in search for something completely different. These instances proved something I already knew: this trip is what you make of it. Wasted days and hours are something that will do nothing for me. I’ve been here forever. And for some reason, I think that I’m okay with it.