This post is from the beginning of April.
It is 4:50pm, April 8, Quito time. I am writing this on a large van, not a bus, on my way to Quito. This morning I left my host family in Sayausi, Cuenca, Azuay, Ecuador. Leaving was not hard, but saying goodbye hurt more than I thought it would. When I left home in August I did not cry, I did not cry until well into October. It was because I knew when I was coming home. I knew that, God willing, I would come home. We left Cuenca at almost 9:00am exactly, and I do not know when I will be able to come back. I hope to come back one day, but not for years from now. I am leaving the first ever home that had away from my family. A place that I was forced to make my home, to feel “OK” there. And I did. I did for 3 months. So, this morning when my host nephew looked at me and said, “Te quiero,” it broke my heart.
Now, as I sit on this bus, approaching hour 8, (3 more to Quito) I am fine. I realize that my family’s life will go on, as mine will. Hopefully our paths will cross again, and if they do not, at least I knew them duringa time of great transition. As I think about what is lying ahead of me; the next 3 days in Quito; the following 6 days in the costal redwoods of Santa Cruz, California; an entire day of traveling; arriving at home; then the summer and the goals and expectations that I have madefor myself; I cannot help but wonder how I am going to show up.
Something that I have realized in Ecuador is that if you want something to be over, it is best not to think about that. The best that you can do is remember that everything ends, at some point. It is best if you just let it happen. Be mindful, but let it happen. This is how I plan to show up these next 9 days.
One of my friends shared a quote, in regards to mindfulness. He said, All that arrives