More Than I Ever Have Before

Leah Mesh-Ferguson - Ecuador


May 23, 2014

I cried,

More than I ever have before.

I sobbed,

Body wracking sobs that left me tired.

I did it in the dark,

Holding it until I was alone.

But the tears shed at night were not alone.

There were tears of joy.

Tears of departure.

Tears of laughter.

And oh, did I laugh,

More than I ever have before.

I laughed.

With my friends.

My coworkers.

My host family.

I laughed at the ridiculous days.

At the days that made no sense,

And at those that made too much sense.

I dropped my jaw in awe,

So far I scraped my chin.

It dropped when I saw the mountains.

The poverty.

The young Kichwa women with pounds of potatoes on their backs.

Ecuador gave me every emotion.

Loneliness.

Joy.

Uncertainty.

Now, at the end, I still feel them all.

I feel them in my muscles.

In my heart.

In my thoughts.

As I cry and as I laugh I feel the memories.

The memories of Ecuador.

The memories that will never go away.

Leah Mesh-Ferguson