When given times of reflection here, I have often struggled with one idea: what is a home? What does it mean to truly feel at home? There are so many little questions that I have based upon this one topic, as I stay with a family that I don’t really know much about, in a place where I am clearly an outsider. Although many people say I look very Brazilian, it is clear by the way I dress, talk (or lack thereof), and act that I am not from this place. Will this place ever truly be a home for me?
I have chosen to attack this question from a different angle: my art. Though this idea is just in its very beginnings, I want to look at the idea of home in Brazil through photography. Whether that be portraits of homeless Brazilians or pictures of the inside of a Brazilian house, I will look at the idea of a home. I am not sure as of right now how I am going to do this, but just putting this idea on this blog is enough to get my ideas forming and flowing. As I continue to brainstorm, I see this manifesting into something that will be extremely difficult and trying, yet could be beautiful and moving.
Because the idea of a home is so sacred, I don’t want to jump into saying that I can see myself “being at home here”. Until I learn to communicate and become fully immersed, I am always going to be an outsider. In all honesty, I have no idea how I am going to feel at home, but it’s something that I won’t stop looking for while I am here.