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Getting my Joy Back.

“I want my own things/ how i lived them/
& give me my
memories/ how i waz when i waz there/
you cant have them or do nothin wit them/”

-ntozake shange. “For coloured girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf”

 

9am: Wake up

9am-10:30am: Get Sunday ready

10:30am-11am: Drive to church

11am-1pm: Sit in church

1pm-1:30pm: Talk with my church family

1:30pm-2pm: Drive home

2pm-whenever: Family time

 

Being raised in a religious family this was my schedule mostly every Sunday. It was routine….up until August 19th, 2012 Sunday was the day I went to church no matter what I did the night before. So as you could imagine abruptly breaking my routine was extremely hard for me to deal with. Being away from home in a different country and keeping my relationship with God was difficult.

Somewhere between home and Ecuador I lost my way; I became mean and short tempered, my self-esteem was lowered and I became unhappy and sad. I could honestly say I was lost and my faith was slipping. I began to cry constantly and complain… I was depressed. I didn’t know what to do; all I wanted to do was stay in bed and not get out. Every morning I dreaded getting up, everything that came out of my mouth was negative I was not the usual happy smiley Kalea… That girl was lost.

I let someone steal MY joy. But how could someone steal what belonged to me? No one could take what was mine and all I knew is I wanted it back. How could I go about getting it back? What could I do?

After suffering and being in this depressive state I realized to get my joy back and become the person I used to be I had to pray and I had to forgive. I had to remind myself of the one being that will never hurt me and will always be with me, my Heavenly Father. I also realized that I didn’t have to go to church to have a relationship with God, I just needed to continue to pray.

I had to renew my relationship with God, I had to get it back! I wasn’t going to let anyone and I mean ANYONE steal my joy. I wasn’t going to let the devil get away with stealing what was mine…nope… that was not happening. After these realizations I began to pray. Every night I pray, during the day I pray, I pray constantly.

So everyday as I pray, I thank God for waking me up. I pray for the health of my family and friends and even enemies I feel myself growing stronger and happier everyday. I feel my relationship with God grow more and more with each breath I take.

What I have realized through the last six months is that my circumstances will always change: they’ll be great, they’ll be bad, and they’ll be different. I realized that my happiness and joy shouldn’t be tied to my circumstances but rather to God and my faith in Him. I hope to carry this truth throughout my life and wherever I am in life.

“I Want It Back”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT0SqO5VgVw

 

Side note: This is my last month here and we are required to do a final community project. For my project I chose to set up the kids I teach with a pen pal from the United States. For the rest of my school I wanted to give them all (81 students) notebooks that they can use for English (most of my kids do not have English notebooks). I would like to present the notebooks at a carnival style party I would like to have, with games, food and prizes. Through Global Citizen Year we are granted $50 dollars to complete our community project but I need your help! I set up a fundraising website where I can receive this money. Please help me make this final difference in my community. The link is below please spread the word! Thank you all for your consideration!

http://www.youcaring.com/other/Cuadernos-For-Colta/43603

Kalea Moore

About Kalea Moore


Kalea was born and raised in Arizona. She is active in her community, and has been a member of youth ministry for the last four years. She loves to sing and make music in her free time. She is very passionate about service work, and being accepted to Global Citizen Year is one of the highlights of her life, and she looks forward to making the most of this experience.

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