“How do you feel about moving to Senegal?!?!?!?”
Introversion and impulsivity are the worst traits. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad about the sense of comfort that comes from within – introverts commonly have an acute sense of self and keen observation… and we all have a moment in which we acted so uncharacteristically passionate and made treasured memories. These personality variables are just that – variables in the DNA lottery, but boy does it suck to have both.
As a result, since the day I knew I had a place with GCY, I have felt every emotion towards the decision. I honestly went through the 7 stages of grief. I was shocked that someone saw something in little old me, and gave me such an opportunity. I was angry that I got myself into this mess because I’m inherently scared of the unknown. Some ups and downs, highs and lows later, I have accepted the fate I had always planned for myself? Wild.
It's confusing to keep running knowing you will get to somewhere new and unknown. I have done it many times. I won't lie, I’m apprehensive about what this experience will bring and about the limits of my influence on others. I’m nervous about the extent of my empathy and how that could translate into another culture. I’m numb because fear paralyses you into a shell. The only blessing to all of this is that in the back of my brain, there is a part of me, roughly the size and width of a pea, that is clapping her hands as if in rhythm with the wings of a hummingbird and radiating what it feels like to be on an adventure. Curiosity gives you a reason, and excitement gives you the strength to leave, to run towards something new. Soon, to step into that dark room and hope your eyes adjust.
The way it's different this time is that it doesn't feel like you're running away from something, it's like you're running towards it. Cherish it. Cherish every moment.