I know it’s coming. I’ve been dreaming about the day I leave for a long time. But someday is different than a date on the calendar. When I’m bundled in bed waiting to fall asleep, walking down the street, or washing dishes in the kitchen sink, snapshots of banana groves, cobble stone streets, and markets crowded with people wearing felt hats flood my mind and the magnitude of the year ahead begins to register.
It’s impossible to anticipate the experiences I will have in Ecuador. Preparing to leave has been a journey of it’s own.
I’m already beginning to see my home from a new perspective. This summer has been a strange limbo bridging the transition between my childhood and start of my adulthood. Adjusting has come in little waves. Sometimes my emotions are overwhelming. I oscillate between feverish excitement and nervousness, and a bit of fear too. And it leaves me breathless at times. But, beneath the jumble of hope and uncertainty I’m certain that I’m ready, and that I’m ready not to be ready too.