Whose Choice is This?

Lydia Crush - Ecuador


August 29, 2011

It’s midnight and the big day waits for me once I wake up, when I find out what my apprenticeship will be. It’s like the Ceremony of Twelves in The Giver. Jonas waits in apprehension while others decide what his career will be. His interests have been noted and his skills were tested and studied. But he was never asked explicitly “Hey, out of what we’ve got, what do you wanna do?” Ditto for me.

The U.S. is all about “free choice” and unlimited options so this type of selection process grinds against everything I know. Other lessons have taught me so very much, but it’s the hardest to learn when to just let go and give the decision-making to others. The society that molded Jonas’ thoughts differs from how my life is. My parents raised me to respect elders’ opinions while still keeping an opinion of my own. This almost chucks my opinion to the wind in favor of legitimately more experienced points of view. Granted, I would love to choose for myself but I’m not in the place to know what’s in my best interest now. The Ecuador team looks out for their own and I know I’m taken care of.

Inevitably almost everything that I experience here at Fall Training I relate to how Ecuador might be like. Having my apprenticeship decided for me tests my patience, my willingness to submit, my ability to swallow my pride, and my trust in the GCY leaders. Indeed, it is the test to end all tests. On the good side, I get to find out what my apprenticeship is, no matter if I pass or fail. In a few hours I will be… a teacher’s aide, an environmental studies worker, a public health worker, or any litany of choices. Now all I need to do is wait…

Lydia Crush