What is my Identity?

Brinley Barton - Ecuador


September 10, 2018

Jet lag, living out of a suitcase, being surrounded constantly by people, meeting new people, saying where you are from 1000x, sharing your challenges, re-thinking what you’re doing with your life, coming to a whole different place, trying to find wifi, finding out where you’ll be living for the next 8 months, meeting your host family.

This has been the past 2 weeks for me since I left home.

Yesterday was the first time I could finally settle down into a place and unpack my things. As I did this, I was thinking about how I can’t even imagine being here for the next 8 months. Suddenly panic shot through me as I started to think about how much time this was. How can I possibly live without the people I have been surrounded with for so long, speak a different language, and even begin to find a sense of “home” again. I felt like my identity was ripped off my body. No longer was I known as the student, the swimmer, the daughter, the sister, the girlfriend, the friend. So what am I?

As I thought this I came across a quote today that said:

“The challenge so many people face is accepting the idea that life is meant to “just be alive”. Reconditioning our thinking to accept and understand this view/philosophy that nothing else matters other than the single breath you take in each moment…that’s the daily practice.  Being alive is more than just “being happy”. Being alive is about experiencing many emotions, light and dark. The reality of life is to accept the dualities of life.”

I am human, I am living, and well, I’m not exactly sure what I am yet. That’s the adventure.

Brinley Barton