Two months back in the states and I’m still getting used to the fact that not every person I pass will want to say hi, smile or even engage in a quick conversation. Two months back and I still find myself replying to peoples, “how was Ecuador?” with, “it was great!”, or “I loved it!” knowing it was so much more than that. Two months back and I already find myself falling back into some of the same patterns. But it two months back and I’ve realized how much I love my parents here in the states, how much they do for me, and how much were alike. Two months back and i still message my family in Ecuador when something happens that reminds me of them or I want to show them something. Two months back and the friendships I made while in Ecuador are still the friendships I value the most. Sure I can be upset about all the old parts of my life that I have to get used to now as they are new to me, but theres so much beauty and love in my life here I never noticed before and so much learned while in Ecuador that will always be with me. The separation from home and the US has given me an altered pair of eyes. I notice so much that needs change and so many things I never asked about before, I notice things that I never wondered about that I should have. I look at the people who I’ve been surrounded by all my life and realize how lucky I am to have been surrounded by these people. I still listen to the music I would listen to on long rides with the family. I still use my phone to contact those I love but I question being so easily contactable. I value meeting new people but I also realize that I don’t like being a part of huge groups of people. I know that I’ll start college and I know it will be challenging and may seem pointless at some points, but I’m excited to start learning and hoping to find something that I will love doing. I’m still struggling with trying to connect with people at home and showing them the love they deserve, but I know as I figure out my path and fix my wobbling legs it will become easier for me to do. I’ll be up at priest lake this summer where my brother lives and hoping to spend as much time with him as possible. Thanks for reading my blogs, although I’m not a fan of posting my thoughts on here I’m glad I put some thought out there throughout my year and excited to be back and to see those I haven’t seen yet soon. Keep smiling at strangers.
Love to all,