Things In My Room

Things in my room,

I have clothes, books, an excessive amount of pillows, I have peace.
I’m deciding what I should pack.
I’m deciding on what I need.
In my ginormous suitcase I’ve packed a lot of t-shirts, a couple pairs of pants, 2 pairs of shoes, some formal dresses and a lot more toiletries that I probably should have brought. 
All the required things needed to live in another home for 8 months were stuffed away in one tightly closed case. 
I still felt something missing.
It was the night before I was leaving to pre departure training
It was 2 am
It was dark and quiet
It was me alone in my room with my clothes, my books, my excessive amount of pillows and my…
I’m feeling a little swept away by these emotions clashing in my head as I prepare to leave on an 8 month journey 
Away from my friends, my family, my home, my city of a safe space
I know which freeways to take to get to every mall, I know which restaurants stay open the longest, I know which streets to turn on to get to school
So much comfort in this place, I didn’t realize that pushing myself this far out of my small familiar box took so much strength.
But I did it.
I am here.
My feet are feeling this new ground and though it’s unfamiliar I think I love it.
This environment is welcoming AND interesting
It’s nerve wrecking AND exciting
It’s overwhelming AND eye-opening 
It’s crazy AND I think it’s the best decision I’ve ever made in these last 18 years of my life.