I lied, maybe just a little

Alondra Quiles - Brazil


September 10, 2016

It's like… I want to go home, but I also don't. Honestly, I don't even think that that makes any sense, and I'm not saying that I'm homesick… At least I don't think that I am because every day feels great. Yes, there are moments where I'm just tired and want to be home alone in my bed back home, wrapped up in my favorite blanket with the curtains blocking any form of light into my little dark den of a bedroom. But, other times, I enjoy the strangeness. How I know nothing here and how I have to figure things out, but that does tend to get exhausting. 

I'm not homesick. I wouldn't say that I am, but I miss the familiarity. The willingness to just sink into what makes me most content in a matter of seconds. I miss being able to communicate with anyone and everyone and my ability to navigate myself around without the help of anyone else.
So, no I wouldn't say that I'm homesick because I'm grateful to be here. I'm fortunate to have such an opportunity but I do miss some of the little aspects of my life back home that I never knew I appreciated. 
It's as though being away from home. Five thousand plus miles from home, I am beginning to understand what I didn't understand at the moment. Home is where those we love are. Home is a place that doesn't have to remain as one place but rather home is where comfort is and I'm beginning to reach comfort within my ICO family that being away from home in California is making me feel a little lost.

Alondra Quiles