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JT Su


November 8, 2013

Our world is massive.
And us?
Well, we are tiny.
We wander around like a giant colony of ants.
And no matter how many we are,
We will inevitably be a minuscule part
Of an infinitely larger context.

We are part of a crazy, hectic thing called life.
We breathe everyday,
We live everyday,
Rarely stopping to dwell
On the big playground of a world we live in.
But at the most abrupt times,
The cliché just clicks.
It hits us when we least expect it.
It just is.
We live in a big, big world.
And we are nothing but mere specks.
There are so many places to be–
So many things to do,
And while it may sometimes seem overwhelming,
It is home.

Today is another day,
When I’m constantly thinking
About our magnificent world.
A grand feeling of lust and wonder,
My mind coming alive
To the vast frontiers of home.

Here I am.
Sitting amidst the Andes Mountains
On my tiny balcony,
Looking over the small town and shops of Guano,
Seeing the majesty of what people here call “the married couple,”–
Volcán Tungurahua
to my left,
Volcán Chimborazo
to my right.
I’m enjoying life.
I just had a bowl of potato soup,
Some guaguas de pan with frutilla filling,
And too much colada morada
(Well, one can never have too much.)
In celebration of Día de los Difuntos.

It just hit me that I am living with a different family,
In a different country,
In a different hemisphere.
It hit me that I am just another small one
Being touched by the big world around me.
The food is different,
The landscape is different,
The culture is different.
My life couldn’t be more of a change here,
And it constantly reminds me of how great our world is
For me to be experiencing such drastic differences–
Such new experiences everyday.
I am so far away from my physical and psychological home–
The California sunniness,
The big city life.
Yet, strangely, I still feel the sensation of home.

I began to think of my family and friends,
What they’re doing as I’m reflecting on my life
Sitting above a quaint city in South America–
The lives they’re piloting around the world.
Are they sleeping?
Are they working?
Are they currently stuck in traffic?
I thought about how different it is to be living
Amongst all the delicious Asian food of Taipei,
Experiencing the snowy maple season of Kyoto,
Being around the sandy blue beaches of Santa Barbara,
Living the small town life in the suburbs of Atlanta,
Or even the city life–
The constant accessibility to fast food,
Taco trucks,
Frozen yogurt,
And restaurants galore
In LA, DC, New York City, or Boston.
I thought about how big the planet is,
And how small we are
To be living in such different worlds
As we’re all chasing our dreams wherever we go.

As much as I try to ‘unplug’
From life back home,
It still comes as a significant challenge
From living in a foreign country
Nothing like I’m used to.
Tears constantly flow
From being unable to see,
Touch,
Hear,
Smell,
Or even get a taste of home.
We live in a big world and I too often think
Of every other place I can ideally be
Instead of where I am.
I think of all the breathtaking things I can do
In the big world as a small being.

But no matter where we are,
No matter where we live,
The world is our home.
We see the same sun rise each day.
We see the same moon come out each night.
We live in one world,
Connected by a strange force that unites us.
We are all home,
All the time.

I’m lucky to have the opportunity to hopscotch around home,
In our enormous world.
There is never any need to feel lost,
To feel homesick,
Never any need to fear missing out.
Everything just belongs.
We are all meant to be where we are.
And we will all have our time.
The world is big,
And we are one.
No matter where we are,
No matter how small we are in comparison
To the enormity of the world,
We are always home,
And home is where the heart is.

 

JT Su