Grandma’s Apple Pie

I made Thanksgiving dinner for my host family last night.  The odds were against me, but it actually turned out pretty well.  In addition to green beans, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy (all vegetarian), I also made pie.  2 pies, in fact: chocolate pie with oreo crust and my Grandmother’s Apple Pie.  I started on Wednesday by making the apple pie, and I think I made Grandma roll over in her grave.
Let me take you through the play-by-play of my thoughts as I was making the pie.
·      Okay, let’s make pie
·      *Cutting some apples*
·      Yeah, cutting apples
·      Ugh, this is boring
·      Let’s put on some music
·      Much better
·      I hope I don’t get pie on my computer
·      Okay, apples are all cut.  Now for the topping.
·      Flour!
·      Oops, I put in 2/3 cups flour instead 2 tablespoons
·      Let’s just use my hands to take out the extra flour
·      Sure, that looks like 2 tablespoons
·      Now put in 2/3 cups SUGAR
·      Yes!
·      I couldn’t find nutmeg at the store, so I’ll just put in extra cinnamon – everyone likes cinnamon
·      Now for the topping!
·      Extra cinnamon
·      Okay, so this butter is not in traditional butter sticks.  But it looks like this block is about 4 sticks.  And I think there are like 5 tablespoons of butter per stick, so I’ll just divide the block into 4 “sticks” of butter and divide that into 5ths.
·      Nice! Messy, but worked out well.
·      Now, let’s mix
·      Hm, this is turning out pretty mushy
·      Isn’t this supposed to be a crumble topping? Not much crumble
·      I think I put too much butter in this
·      Oops, a stick of butter has EIGHT tablespoons in it
·      Oh well, everyone likes butter
·      *putting it in the oven*
·      Okay, this oven is in Celcius – good thing I converted all of the temperatures! I’m such an adult
·      Timer is set for 45 minutes
·      *45 minutes later* Ding!
·      Yay, pie!
·      This still looks mushy
·      The top is supposed to be slightly brown and the apples are supposed to be crispy
·      Okay, let’s put it in for 10 more minutes
·      *10 minutes later* it’s still mushy
·      *10 minutes later* yay it’s slightly crispy, or possibly burnt, so let’s take it out!
·      Well, at least there aren’t any eggs in here, so no ones going to get salmonella or anything
The pie tasted amazing, although the consistency of the topping was a little mushy.  But my host family didn’t care and no one got sick.
So even if Grandma rolled over in her grave, I think she was probably rolling on the floor laughing.
Happy Thanksgiving