Be aware of your priviledge and see what you can do with it? sure….

Deepa Gayadin - India


April 14, 2020

We talked so much about it but we never really, we talked to the point of judging rather than understanding. 
Being privileged became you worked less hard than me 
Being less privileged meant its not your fault 
Being privileged became you have to fix the world 
Being less privileged meant I should show empathy 
I found people battling between: I am privileged to I am not as much as you, therefore, I am not. But most probably if you reading this you are; on multiple levels. 
The expectations we have built of so-called privileged people is the same as expecting Bezos of Amazon to give up some of his wealth for what we'd called noble causes but I wonder how fair it is. It does make sense, he cannot take it 6 feet under the ground because that journey is a journey stripped of possessions.  (To be fair he is an investor, he is helping as well)
That is when morality comes to play, I guess.  We are trying to get mankind to an average lifestyle; well greed that never ends, to be honest, but let us assume the line exists, therefore, so-called privileged people should feel more responsible as they are supposed to have more power and help push that line further up.
But this time I won't preach my opinions on the issue, I will share a part of me; a story. 
Once in a while, I put my feminist inside to sleep, I make sure she is accompanied by her social activist sister to not feel guilty. 
I do not want them to know that;
I try to not get tan and I try to not get fat.
I wondered if I honestly care about these for my self-esteem but trust me I do not know. 
What I do know was being per the beauty standards ensured that I am not discriminated against. 
I am aware that fighting those beauty standards would allow fewer people to be discriminated or looked down upon but I guess its easier the other way around sometimes. 
This was my introduction to privilege; a baby step.  ( I am not proud of this so if you see me, do not mention it pls)
Being "beautiful" is a privilege 
Being "paper intelligent" is a privilege
Being from a "UWC" is a privilege 
(Having a family or multiple is I guess but you get the idea)
Anything that opens a door of opportunity is a privilege (to me). And my life so far has been to accumulate more privileges, I am lazy therefore I want to do the minimum effort and for me, that is studying. Studying to have the luxury of choosing a job rather than a job choosing me. To enjoy life the way we do it in movies; parties, travelling, blah blah blah…. consumerism, show-off and a story to tell. (Hopefully, I will do something for the earth and other people but I could be blinded by greed like so many before me, or waiting for the right time that never comes –  we never know) 
What I am trying to say is privileges are everywhere, sometimes it is earned and sometimes not as hard as someone else. We try to accumulate them to make our life easier. 
But they are not wrong nor undesirable nor your fault, I cannot ask you to lead your life a certain way nor can I expect you to use your privileges for others.
Therefore now am back to square 1.
My story on privilege ended here, under; a roof, a tube-light, a fan, on a comfy bed with my laptop on my lap and good music, somewhere on an island. 
Mankind does not have a shared purpose but we have idealism to guide the way, but I have started to wonder how many judgments did I accumulate with that sense of idealism. 
This journey in my head was important to me so that I could be nicer to people. I looked for people I considered self-made, who deliberately and consciously choose the path that made them who they were. I gave them respect points while others appreciation points. 
This journey taught me that I am judgmental as hell, which paradoxically is a judgement in itself. 
Everyone has a journey and I should just see it like that and not classify people nor make a projection that's none of my business. 
I am responsible for what I do, I did it for you does not exist for me therefore I am still responsible for everything I do. Even if I helped someone else, I did it for myself. Therefore how I will use my privilege is all up to me. 
23.03.2020 

Deepa Gayadin