Autumn Sweats

Ashley Trejo - India


December 2, 2018

I am wet. I am a sweaty, sweaty, SWEATY person and all those in India must
know it by now. While this may be a bit of an overshare, I believe that
this speaks of the quality we humans have to adapt to our situations. I
have come to learn that my body is in the midst of acclimating to the new
environment that it finds itself in, but I have also seen that there is
more than just a physiological change underway.

Instead of occupying a space of an adult figure in my household, I have
moved away from that role entirely.

Instead of feeling the need to parent a sibling, I gained three in a space
where.

Instead of trying to accommodate strangers and friends alike, I am in a
situation in which people are doing that to me.

Instead of always putting myself on the backburner of my life, I have been
moved to the front flame.

There will only be more experiences that will be completely different to
what I have grown accustomed to in my past 18 years of life and no way to
see what will come of that. I can only hope that – much like the sweating-
time will work its magic and my mind and body will follow suit.

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I wrote the wring portion above during my first month in India and looking
back there was a lot of…moisture within that first month. I am about to
embark on my fourth month and I can confidently say that I no longer
identify with that statement. Now I only secrete the respective amount of
sweat that could be expected in 90-degree weather with 40 percent humidity.

Over time my body has grown accustomed to the sticky sheen that would layer
over my skin and drip; my body’s attempts to cool itself were in vain as I
stuck to my daily 2 liters of water and attempts to stay in the shade. I
could not understand why this unusual conditioned seemed to be prolonged.
However, these past three months have taught me that, like everything, time
and reflection is needed to truly go deeper in an experience.

I made some proclamations the first month that rung true but I have come to
see that the truth they held at the time is now more complex. Having to
acclimate to many different new realities- new family, new job, new
language, new everything- has made me really want to envision the adult
person I want to be.

I want to be adventurous and exist in the world with a hunger to know more.

I want to love others while remembering that there has to be the same
amount and kind of love for myself.

I want to take charge of my life and allow myself space, while I give space
to others.

I want to be able to think about the future while continuing to live in the
present.

Slowly but surely everything follows suit with time. You just can’t sweat
it.

Ashley Trejo