An Entry from my Journal. On the way back Home
18th April, 2019
Indira Gandhi International Airport,
New Delhi, India.
It was an amazing experience. On the way back home to Bhutan, I find myself answering to people in Portuguese involuntarily. It is a beautiful language and I hope I never lose it. With 7 months in Brazil, I sometimes feel like I could have done more. I am not sure what "more" is, but just more. I did do quite a lot of things, and most things I would not have had the confidence and strength to 2 years ago. I have grown and I think Brazil has changed my life (can't believe I am saying this).
Brazil was an adventure. I have begun to trust my adventurous soul, although not completely. I have learned a lot about myself but also my relationship with the world. I have learned that I am not great at expressing my emotions, some may argue otherwise. I have learned to accept and take agency over my body and my experiences.
I am not sad it's over, but rather, sad over the fact that I may never enjoy myself like I did the last two months in country, with people I trust and love. I broke out of my shell and I will never forget the feeling that washed over me on that beach with people who I knew understood me, or that night when we laid down on the grass with funk entering our ears and stars reflected in our eyes. I most definitely won't forget how it felt to just let loose, to just dance, to walk among powerful women fighting for a cause, to run after an open play on the streets showing me Salvador, to just sing and to just live.
Brazil, I am grateful for all the things you showed me, the hidden gems of your sophisticated nature, to your beautiful and vibrant resistance and your melodious varying voices… but most importantly, thank you for showing me that I am enough and that I am just where I need to be, with the people I just need to be with.
Com tudo meu amor