During my time in Ecuador, my journal became an explosion of self love and
introspection as I learned what it means to be alive and growing.
Throughout the journey of fighting for myself, I changed in many ways. Part
of my journey is visible through the bits of writing I’ve included below.
& things still hurt sometimes. But they hurt in a growing sort of way, and
through it I know that I’m becoming who I want to be & I can still see that
life is beautiful and has been made for me (the fact that I’m in pain right
now but I’m still able to write this is encouraging, I think).
I have learned that life can be beautiful. I want to live. I am healing.
I’ve done so much. Everything is new. Is this what it means to be alive? To
look on the future with hope instead of fear? & every day the hope grows
more & I can feel the claws of anxiety that were once so deep in my stomach
lessen, little by little.
It’s amazing to sit still and quiet while everything around you is fluid
and moving and creating sound.
Sometimes your problems aren’t something you can burn. Sometimes it’s not
that easy, and that’s okay.
Realizing you want to live is the best feeling in the world. & the second
best is knowing that you’ve done that for yourself.
I contain the secret to my own happiness.
I like testing my voice.
Sometimes it cracks, but other times it holds true and carries echoes: the
resounding voices of those around me.