A Fisherman Stole My Havaianas

Aberdeen Bird - Brazil


February 4, 2016

Foreword:  Don’t read this Blog if you’re looking for something pretty to run your eyes across.

Update:

I joined a gym my whole body is sore, I went to Rio last month it was amazing, I’m still at the apprenticeship making recycled bottle boards, I’m a little bored here, I’m going to make signs for my apprenticeship because it’s really hard to find, I’m trying to not eat so much cake because for some reason it always shows up here, my Portuguese is still improving, I don’t know whether to take Spanish Arabic or Portuguese when I return to Tufts, I don’t know whether to pursue my dreams of being a writer, I’m so ready for college, I wasn’t ready for college when I left- that’s largely why I left, a boy named Alan gave me his number on a piece of paper and told me to call him- I didn’t call him, Sorry Alan, I haven’t been surfing very much, I made a new friend at the gym, I bought a personal stash of tea, a fisherman stole my Havaianas, my boss lent me his flip-flops, it’s been raining for over a week, I’m happy because I finally got to wear pants, I miss my friends, Dengue is a little scary, this list has gotten a little negative but I swear I’m all good, I’m going to Florianopolis sometime soon, I’ve made a lot of friends this year, they visited last weekend and we went to the beach, I’m a little sick of sunscreen, I’ve been drawing a lot in my journal, I remembered how much  I love art, I’ve realized the importance of keeping up with things that I love and notice a significant change in mood if I don’t play music, make some art, exercise, spend time with friends, have enough alone time- I took for granted my outlets before, I smile at women that I pass walking on the streets, it makes me sad that it makes me uncomfortable to try and smile at men, I avoid making eye contact with men here as I go walking, you’d understand if you were a young woman walking alone, machismo culture has really gotten me down, gostosagatalindabonitabomdiaguriawhistlesyellsvencathelistoftheunwantedcommentsandcatcallsneverendsandIjustwanttoreactandyellprofanitiesbackbutofcourseIcantbecausethatcanbedangerous, don’t tell me we don’t need feminism, don’t ask me “are you like… a feminist or something…?” as if that’s a dirty word, I miss captain crunch cereal, I’ve struggled with coming up with a topic for a blog and this is what we’ve come to- a very bad list, I’ve met lots of interesting people, I met a man who taught himself how to paint and he owns a shop with his wife, I love his paintings and I’m going to start visiting him to hear about his life- they told me to visit again and they were sincere, I love my host sister, It’s odd for me to have a younger sister, I can see bits of what I was like at 15 in watching her, I now know what it must be like for my mom and older sister to know there’s no use in telling me what to do but just wait until I do it anyway and then sigh ‘cause they saw it coming from miles away, I bought a new nail polish- it’s the color of the sea, we had a training seminar for GCY up in some mountains and I hadn’t even known I needed to go back to the mountains, I grew up in the mountains,  I suppose I’ll miss the ocean when I go back home, you should take some time for yourself today, I made a journal for myself labeled “the Self-care Chronicals” because I’m so bad at remembering to try and take care of myself, I haven’t written in it for over a week… oops, I’m attempting to memorize Part 1 of the poem Howl by Allen Ginsberg, you should read some Allen Ginsberg, if anyone wants to lend me some Jack Kerouac I’ll be forever grateful, things I’ve independently been researching this year/items of interest in my brain: psychedelic drugs and therapy, psychotherapy, the war on drugs, capitalism, white feminism, sustainability, how to expand my music taste, butterflies, blood types, constellations, astrology, tarot cards, how to not get a sunburn, the many ways to wear a sarong, etc.

There are 72 days until I come home, yes I’m counting, yes I like it here, yes I miss home, yes I’m going to be sad to leave and will definitely miss this time,  I’m so grateful to be here I’ve learned a ton, I have tattoos planned for when I return to the U.S, I’m glad my mom won’t disown me for getting piercings and tattoos- thanks Mom, you’re the best, I plan on going for walks with my dad when I return, I plan on visiting my grandmother at least once a week whenever I can,  I plan on asking people more about their life stories, I plan on writing a book, I plan on getting a job outside of the bakery at the farm where I will force myself to talk with people because I was afraid to before, I plan on asking my high school science teacher if I can borrow the textbook from his class because I am a nerd and want to go back and read all the items I skipped over for homework, I think I’ve decided I’m going to adopt kids when I’m older, I’m going to be vegetarian when I return- I don’t support the U.S meat industry and you should look into that, I’ll be voting later this year #FEELTHEBERN, go ahead tell me I’m a liberal hippy, I’ve done a lot more listening this year than talking and that’s new for me, I wish I had time to bake cookies for all the people that I want to thank but I’m not sure I would be able to do that, I now know how to spot an Argentinian tourist- crocs, the men wear shorts that are about 5 inches above the knee and are often brightly colored and floral patterned, the women’s bikini bottoms have a thick waist band but then are a thong in the back, their accents are very distinct (I quite enjoy them), they play very loud Spanish music from their cars, they call you chica instead of guria, their hairstyles are different, they’re often light haired and tan- sometimes taller, I swear the boys travel in packs, they stay at the beach ALL DAY- like they pack themselves into cars and bring EVERYTHING for the beach whereas most locals here stay for a solid 4 hours or so Argentinians go in the morning and come back at night, Of course these are general things and I know not all Argentinians appear like this but the dynamics between Argentinians and Brazilians in my city is very interesting and often times I hear more Spanish being thrown around than I do Portuguese, My siblings are all coming out to San Francisco when I return and I’m so excited, I spend a lot of time with my British/Scottish friend Sarah and sometimes I find myself using her dialect without meaning to and it’s hilarious, “Where’s me Jumper?”, I still can’t dance the Samba, not to be a jerk but Christ the Redeemer is actually quite smaller in person than you’re led to believe through all the hype but the view is amazing, I will try to sit down and write a better blog, thanks for reading, that’s all folks.  

Aberdeen Bird