My emotions are usually at a plateau. No substantially huge downs and even less ups. I just exist? I do everything I’m supposed to and those are my normal days. Of course, there’s amazing moments within these days but it’s incomparable to this rare feeling of “surrealism” (?), which I was able to experience last night.
I was in a room surrounded by most of the fellows and I was laying my head on my friend’s lap and I felt so comfortable. I don’t know how I managed to feel so safe around a group of people when my whole life I’ve feared groups, unless I’ve known the people in them for years. I’ve known these people for a few months and for some reason it feels so right. (How cliche could this blog post possibly be? Am I right ladies?)
When I got home, (Oh yeah, it gets even MORE cliche) I went straight to the roof and danced my heart out to my music alone. Dance like no one’s watching? Been there done THAT. Not to sound too much like a white female lead in an indie coming of age film but I felt so free. I wish I could feel like this more often but I guess the rarity of this feeling just makes it more special or at least that’s what I like to tell myself.
Up until last night, all I was thinking about was how happy I’m going to be when I finally go home after my Global Citizen Year is over. Now, I’m just thinking about how sad I’m going to be when I leave and how lucky I am to have things I’m actually going to miss.