slipping seeking surrendering
Ellie Van Gorden
February 22, 2019
i remember when i first arrived here. how an hour seemed like an eternity, and how patience was a foreign word. but now, now the minutes slip through my sand-encrusted fingers and i can’t seem to hold on tight enough. the days flow in and out. light and dark. they open and close nearly the...
Read Morewhat ever do i do now?
Ellie Van Gorden
December 19, 2018
i asked myself a version of this question right around the time i got rejected from college last year and was in need of a serious pep-talk. at that time, my answer was “go change the world”. now, my answer is the same, but my perspective is *quite* different. although my physical world has expanded,...
Read MoreObservations a Month and Three Quarters In
Ellie Van Gorden
October 24, 2018
Sometimes, you start writing, but then the pen explodes and the mosquitoes find you. It is at this point where you recognize that the world is telling you to stop and start again. So here’s attempt number two at this blog! ~ There’s been a man in my entryway seated in one of our creaky,...
Read MoreRunning Relatively Blind
Ellie Van Gorden
October 11, 2018
Running relatively blind has its pros and cons. On one hand, the colors at dusk blend together and create a beautiful orange glow all around you; but on the other hand, you can’t quite distinguish where the puddles of water turn into mud. I had yet to consider how I was going to go running...
Read MoreBeautiful People and Happenings
Ellie Van Gorden
October 11, 2018
I slowly wake to the sound of Taps bellowing out of the ancient speakers lining the walls of the military base about 100 yards out from my bedroom window. The sun creeps in through my draping white curtain, and I hear the rooster crow. I feel the footsteps approaching; the troops chant and sing in...
Read MoreRemoved…Once Again
Ellie Van Gorden
September 23, 2018
As I sit at this squeaky, uneven table with the remains of a strawberry milkshake at the only restaurant I’ve been to in Thies thus far, I watch the world go by and wonder why mine was so suddenly stopped. I was thriving in the everyday hustle of my neighborhood. I had become accustomed to...
Read MoreI Miss You, I Miss You Not
Ellie Van Gorden
September 11, 2018
Things I Miss: · Toilet paper · Tissues · La Croix/ water that doesn’t taste faintly soapy · The luxury of speaking my first language · A warm shower · Clean air · Things to look at on the walls · Air conditioning. Air conditioning. Air conditioning. · The sound of cicadas at dusk · ...
Read MoreDrop-Off Day
Ellie Van Gorden
September 11, 2018
I’m here. I’m finally here. After 5 months of anticipation, uncertainty and a touch of fear I am in my new home. I am in my new room. My things may be somewhat organized in my cabinet and my desk, but the space remains foreign. I keep reading through notes, going through pictures and even...
Read MoreHuman Connections and Personal Reflections
Ellie Van Gorden
September 4, 2018
I lay here in my Senegalese hotel bed and feel the humidity of the air. I notice the flowy mosquito net that encapsulates me. My gaze turns to the skies as I make my way up the winding staircase to the rooftop. A slight fog covers the tallest hill in the city, and I take...
Read MoreA Bit of a Walkabout Is All
Ellie Van Gorden
August 26, 2018
18. That’s how many hours I have left until I leave. Leaving for what? Oh, just a bit of a walkabout is all. *In Australia, a walkabout is a rite of passage into manhood for Aboriginal boys. Now obviously I am neither a boy, nor Aboriginal…but I use this term as a way to describe...
Read More